The Importance of Curiosity

Welcome to Navigating Your Career, the only podcast that blends personal development, professional skills and psychology to help you get happy at work and live the life you want. If you want to stop feeling stuck and start feeling better, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Melissa Lawrence. Let’s get started.

Hello, and welcome to this week’s episode of the podcast. How are you? It has been a busy month over here at Melissa Lawrence Coaching. I just had the doors open to Happy at Work Club for just one week and it was the last time that they were open until the end of the year. So that was super fun to welcome in new members to the club and introduce this new way of working with me to you. If you aren’t familiar with the club, it’s an online space where I host live master classes, coaching calls, Q&A, career and personal development resources for you to focus on your development and creating your best life at work and at home.

It is the only space like this where you are really learning the personal and professional development tools with the neuroscience and psychology that I offer to really help you excel and achieve any goal that you have. It’s a really awesome way to work together and for you to have this space just for you. So if you are thinking, oh my gosh, I missed it. How do I learn more about this for next time it is open, you can head over to my website at www.melissamlawrence.com/happyatwork and we can link that up for you so that you can take a look.

And if it’s something that you’re interested in that you feel called to and then you definitely should keep your eye out for the next time that it is open toward the end of this year. The best way to get those updates is really to be on my email list. So if you’re not on my email list, if you don’t get weekly emails of wisdom and nurture and inspiration and tools from me, definitely join. Go to www.melissamlawrence.com/email and add your name. I will put that link in there for you too to make it easy peasy.

So today we’re going to talk about curiosity and why this is so important for your development and really to get the most out of your life. This topic has come up a lot lately with my clients, whether it be in discussions around figuring out what they want to do next or if it is about understanding challenging colleagues a bit better. I’ve also been using this technique around curiosity when it comes to you and what I share with you and what you need most. Last month, I had created a brand new training, more like a master class series called The Career Passion Blueprint.

I’ve done a lot of training before and have typically scheduled one hour webinars or classes, and I’ve had a lot of success with that.

But I got really curious, how else could I teach you what you need to know to be able to see what is possible for you, to know step by step how to go from where you are now to where you want to be? How can I let you in on the secret to having what you want? How can I help you go deeper than just a podcast episode, a webinar, or just some social media posts? So I decided to do videos that I share directly with those of you that are connected with me and to my Email Insiders, which, like I said, you need to get on that.

That’s where you get these trainings and the bonuses and all of the things that I do for that special group of people that decide that they really want to be in my space.

I just like to nurture and show them lots of love. So anyway, I put this training together and I allowed myself to do it in a different way. I got really curious about it. I allowed myself to share more than I have ever before without working with me directly, to deliver it in a way that you could listen to it or watch it in chunks so you didn’t have to spend hours in one sitting, so I could really take you on a journey.

And it was so much fun. And just like you when trying something new or different, I could easily say, “Well, I don’t see other coaches doing this.” I mean, quite honestly, I have been advised not to provide you so much for free on this show and other trainings and on my email, but that is just how I roll. I am not in this business to take your money. I’m in this business to help you.

I choose to live my life in abundance of gratitude, and I love that I get to do this work. And for those that want to take a deep dive and get customized coaching and insight into their brain and achieve massive results. Yes, let’s work together. But for some, this isn’t how you’re going to get help. This is what is available to you right now.

This podcast, a free class. And I wholeheartedly believe that everyone deserves to know what I know, to learn how their brain works, to overcome what has held them back, to figure out what truly makes them happy and to make it a reality. So if you’re wondering what this training or master class is all about, then stay with me until the end and I’ll clue you in on how you can get your hands on it. So because of all of this, because of my philosophy, I do things kind of against the grain, and I do them in the integrity of me and what I believe for you, what I believe is possible for you.

What I believe is possible for my business and how I want to help people and the ripple effect that can have. Integrity is huge to me. And actually my body has a negative response to being in the presence of lying, cruelty, cheating, copying, etcetera.

So I am in the business to help you. And so that is what I guide my decisions by first. How can I help you? How can I be an integrity? If I am the only voice that you hear on a bad day, if I am the only podcast you listen to regularly, how can I help you see how glorious you really are? And that your crappy boss doesn’t mean that you’re crappy.

That if someone doesn’t think you deserve that job or to have more or to be happier than you already appear to be, it doesn’t mean that it’s true. That if you have a voice telling you that there is more for you, then it is there for a reason. And I am here to help you listen to it and figure it out. I also use curiosity to continue to grow and push myself, to look at the tools that are out there. What I do is to help you feel more connected with what I believe is really the edge to what helps my clients expedite their results is to learn how to process feelings, to learn how to understand their thinking.

I actually just decided to get certified in a new method that I’m really excited about, and I’m excited to start using it with my clients. It’s something I’ve been using with myself and have seen massive results. And so, yes, I’m already certified as a life and career coach. I have a Masters in organizational psychology, but now I’m going to become certified in a new method of coaching that is going to help my clients understand themselves at a much deeper level. We are connecting Western and Eastern Philosophies with this, and it is going to be mind blowing.

So my curiosity, it serves me well, and there is more to come on that. But let’s talk about curiosity and how this shows up with my clients, why this is so important. So this summer I wrapped up working with one of my clients, Odette. She was (and is) very successful, smart, kind, and one of those people that everyone seems to have a positive experience with.

She’s someone that if you mention her name, there’s usually people that know her and think, oh, I love her. So why did she come to me? Well, she was curious about herself. She found herself at a crossroads and wanted to understand herself and what she wanted better before just moving into another position. And the way that I help people do this is through a framework that includes exploration of you.

So I take you through exercises and questioning that taps into your subconscious, into what you really want. You may be surprised to know that you are mostly functioning from your subconscious, from the beliefs and experiences that you’ve had ingrained in you throughout your life. Your conscious mind, what you think is controlling most of your brain is actually controlling less than 10% of your brain functioning. So 90% of your decisions, what you think that you want and those goals that you create for yourself, it’s really governed by your subconscious mind.

So when you ask yourself what you really want, it can be confusing and we have to tap into the you before You were conditioned to what certain things and ideas that you’ve created and started to believe about what is right and wrong for you to have.

So Odette initially was a bit skeptical as most career professionals would be where I was talking with her about the route that I use with my clients, the process that I use, and I was not there to analyze her resume or look at LinkedIn for her. But once I was able to help her lean into the process, she had so much growth and learned so much about herself. She started getting curious about what her life could be today and in the future. And at the end of our coaching sessions, she sent me some feedback about her experience that I want to share with you because I just want to celebrate her.

Here is what she had to say.

“I identified three goals and at the end of the sessions I achieved all of my goals and was especially proud of one, which was in a sweeter space than I could have imagined six months earlier. Today, I value myself more and refuse to sell myself short. I have a much more positive outlook now. By using Melissa’s tools, I’ve learned to flip the narrative in my mind that takes me down a rabbit hole that doesn’t serve me.

“I’ve learned to build better relationships and be more effective. I’ve learned things about myself that make me freaking awesome. Having the opportunity to work through all of my kinks was a lot of fun. I recommend coaching with Melissa to anyone who wants a change: their career, their role company, or just looking to challenge themselves in their current role. The tools Melissa has apply. The investment is definitely worth it.

“I feel empowered because of my coaching sessions with Melissa. The aha moments were fantastic. Melissa is good at her job and I am glad that I found her at this moment in my life.”

How amazing is that?! She put in this work. I guided her and she had such huge shifts and has improved not just her career but her personal life too.

And do you hear that? She knows she is freaking awesome. I love that. I want that for you too. So that is another way that curiosity can help by really getting into curiosity about how you are and who you are and what you want in your life.

Now I have another client who is using curiosity as a strategy to improve some difficult relationships that she has. Think about it. When there is someone you work with that rubs you the wrong way, that seems to be shady, maybe not have a good work ethic, but you have to work with them, how could you apply curiosity to make that relationship better?

In addition to communication tools like DISC, which I use, you can be curious rather than judgmental about their behavior. You still speak up and adjust the behavior, but you listen with curiosity. Why would you do that? Not to validate your predisposed thinking, but to learn that maybe there is a reason you can’t see, to seek to understand. Sometimes whether it’s our personal or professional life, we can be quick to pass judgment and think we know what the other person is thinking or what they intend, but we really don’t.

The truth is that we all live in our own egocentric world.

We see the world in only the way we can. So it is very possible that our own belief system and experiences or preventing us from seeing another perspective or truth. Being curious can help us understand others without feeling threatened. You aren’t saying they’re right or what they did is right. You’re simply getting curious as to what would drive that behavior.

Then you can decide what you want to do about it. Another client is using curiosity to be open minded to her career possibilities. We are working with my framework and there is a part where we work through clarifying, which is all about taking what we have discovered and identifying themes, patterns, areas we want to learn more about. She had noticed some themes and decided she was going to get curious about another group, sit in on some meetings, do some shadowing to see if something she wanted was within that space.

If there was something more to learn there.

And this is so fantastic. Before applying for a job, jumping ship or signing up for an expensive course or certification to pad her resume, she’s dipping her toes in and feeling curious, and this is creating excitement and joy in her work. More so than staying focus on what she doesn’t know and not having that next step clearly defined yet. She’s focusing on what is possible and incorporating some play into her work. Another client that I’m working with, we are about through the framework and we have identified exactly what his ideal job is.

Now, after talking to his family, he wondered what if he didn’t try to have this job created where he works now, but what if he moved anywhere in the country? What if he opened up travel as an option? What if this job already exists somewhere, just not where he currently is? What if he could position himself with another company and sell them on this unique way of solving an important company issue that is critically needed that he has identified.

He is being curious about how he can integrate what he has discovered he wants into his life, not just looking at okay, I have to get my boss on board and if he isn’t on board, then I’m stuck and I could just apply for another company and hope it works out. No, he’s not doing that. He’s expanding his view of what is possible.

So you see whether it’s personal or professional, if it’s a relationship or your career, curiosity is a tool you can use that opens up your mind into what could be possible. And what I find really fun about this is curiosity doesn’t seem to threaten your brain. Being curious isn’t making a decision, so that reptile part of your brain, that fight or flight response, doesn’t kick in.

So you don’t have to worry so much about the doubt and nay-saying right now. You can just focus on being curious. So ask yourself, what could you be curious about today? What part of your life are you unhappy with that you could be more curious about? You can try brainstorming openly here if you’re feeling stuck.

Let’s say you have a challenging boss. You could brainstorm all the ways you could be curious with them, such as why would they want to micromanage my meetings? What could they be thinking when they don’t show up to my one-on-ones? Again, this isn’t to justify or excuse poor behavior. It is to see the perspective that could be there and then address that and be curious about that rather than just being frustrated and silent. With your career, you could be curious about what you really love. The last time you felt happy at work, what were you doing? How could you do more of that? What don’t you like? When was the last time you had fun? What would it look like to enjoy your day beginning to end?

What does enjoyment even look like to you? Do you even know anymore? What is going on now that is preventing you from enjoying your days? What is in your control and what isn’t? Just get curious.

And I’d be curious to know what you learn. So I told you that I would let you know how you can get your hands on the master class from last month. It was the Career Passion Blueprint: How to Go From Stuck and Stressed to Happy in 4 Steps. And in this class I walked you through casting a vision, seeing what is possible, why you think your problem is one thing but it’s really another, the framework I use, how to apply it.

We went into the neuroscience and behavior of your brain. We got into some psychology. And if you want to get your hands on it, you are in for a treat because I decided to share the framework, share this whole master class series with you on the podcast. I have never done that before. So next week you are going to get the first lesson of the series. The following week you’re going to get the second lesson and the third week you will get the third lesson, and each week there will be homework and things for you to apply for yourself.

So come prepared with a pen and paper and be ready to take notes. This could just be the one thing you need to know to know what your next step is. Now have an amazing week being curious and I will see you here next week when we start the Master Class series of the Career Passion Blueprint.

Coaching with me is the best way to guarantee you get happy at work and achieve your career and life goals. Getting started is easy. Head over to www.melissamlawrence.com to learn more and apply. It is the first step to get you from feeling stuck to knowing exactly what you want and have the tools to make it a reality. I will be by your side the entire way.