Should You Stay or Should You Go? You have written the IDP. You had a conversation with your manager. Maybe you watched someone get promoted ahead of you. And now you are sitting with a question: do I stay, or do I go?
This one came directly from a listener survey, and it is one of the most common places women in pharma and biotech get stuck. Episode 230 covers the signs that something needs to change, and then the decision logic underneath the stay-or-go question, because those are two separate problems and most people try to solve them at once.
I have worked with women who were certain leaving was the only path left. My client Jen spent four years in the same role watching others move ahead of her, and was promoted in under six weeks once we started working together. A month later she moved to a new company at an even higher level, Associate Director. There were options she could not see from the inside.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The 7 signs it is time for a change
- Why feeling valued and being valued are not the same thing
- The two questions I ask before anyone decides to leave
- What it usually means when you are still asking the question
- The first step when you do not know what you want yet
Mentioned in this episode:
- Free training: The Exception: Be the Leader Pharma and Biotech Can’t Overlook — September 22. A live training for women already in pharma and biotech who want to answer what’s next, get a new job, a promotion, or become a confident and recognized leader. Registration link in the show notes. Register here.
- Enrollment for The Right Move Protocol® opens September 21 through September 28. During that window you can schedule a consultation with me directly to talk through your career and whether the program is the right fit. Join the waitlist.
Key Takeaways
1. The 7 signs it is time for a change. Consistent stress that follows you home. Dread when the alarm goes off. Not feeling valued. Complacency, including the version where you stop pushing back and start saying yes to everything. Work that no longer matches your skills. Staying for the company name. And not seeing a future where you are.
2. Feeling valued and being valued are not the same thing. Some of my clients have good jobs and good reviews and still feel empty. They have been developed in place. Their skills changed, their interests changed, and their ambition stopped being recognized. You can be genuinely valued for what you already do and still be ready for something that matches what you are now capable of.
3. “It’s a good job” is not a reason. It is a rationalization. I worked at a top global pharma company in a role where I wrote the job description for myself, and something was still off. I tried to talk myself out of it. If you have the title, the band, the benefits, and other people telling you that you should be happy, and you are still not, that signal is real information, not ingratitude.
4. The two questions before you decide to leave. Do you like the company, and would you want to grow there if you could get the role you actually want? If yes, you have not exhausted your options. Internal transfer, a business case leadership will say yes to, relationship building, visibility, better messaging around what you want. If not, the harder question is why you are still negotiating with yourself to stay.
5. If you are asking the question, you already want the change. I do not wake up wondering whether I should get a divorce, because I am committed to my partner. The question never comes up. Same logic here. The asking is the data.surprised.
The Bottom Line
In an industry that hires exceptional people and then routinely under-scopes them, waiting for the org to notice is not a strategy. The stay-or-go decision is not about loyalty or risk tolerance. It is about whether the path in front of you is one you can actually see, and what you are willing to do about it once you admit that you cannot.
If you have been running this debate in your head for months, this episode will help you stop overthinking and take the next step.
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Transcript
Hello, hello, and welcome to this week’s episode of the podcast.
How are you?
I’m so happy to be here with you today. I always like to imagine we are just talking in your car as you drive to work or on a walk.
And I hope you’re giving yourself credit for even listening today.
Because let me tell you, a lot of people, most people, don’t even try. They don’t question what they could do better, they don’t have enough belief in themselves to even open their mind that they could have something better in their career.
They don’t spend their free time or multi-task time listening to self-development striving to really create the best possible outcome for themselves.
I have compassion for those that aren’t there….yet, but I can tell you that I have a strong strength in learning and am almost addicted to seeing how much better I can be.
What I can really create.
If I see a problem I want to solve it.
If I don’t think I can or think I need a little encouragement or outside perspective, I seek it.
I will not be in my own way and take extreme responsibility for my life and my results.
And I think you might be that way too.
And it’s so smart.
When I work with my clients one thing we do is identify those natural strengths and talents and look at where they need to be more present at home or at work.
Because the science tells us that when we have those things, we are more fulfilled, happy with our life, even in imperfection. We do this through a paid assessment I use BUT also through a personal discovery process I guide you through.
Because listen, you’re smart, and probably like me, and if someone tells you oh the answer is X and your job should be Y, and you had no say – you’ll come up with all the reasons why it won’t work and you won’t believe it.
You know what’s best. Deep down. Tools, coaching, they help you discover things that you can’t tap into on your own, in your conscious mind but at the end of the day – I help my clients build trust in themselves, to become decisive decision makers, to take action without having all the answers figured out yet….
And I share that to say – that the things that we are naturally talented at can be hard to see because they are natural to us.
Right?
If you for example, load the dishwasher a certain way all the time, you would just think – this is how you load the dishwasher.
But someone could come in outside of you and be like wow this is actually the most efficient play of dish Jenga I’ve ever seen.
But to you – it’s just what you do.
Now I don’t know why that is the analogy that came to mind but here we are.
My point is that we can’t always see the answers.
We can’t always see our talents as talents.
So I’m here to tell you that you listening to this podcast tells me that you are talented and have some level of growth mindset and self-awareness. That you’re smart.
Because you think even if it’s just a little, that you can change your outcomes.
And you think even if just a little, that you have control over your career.
And I’m here to tell you that this is unique and many people don’t think that way so it is unique.
Alright, now for today, this is actually another topic that came from the survey I did a little while back asking for topics you want to hear on the podcast.
We are going to talk about how to decide if you should stay or go with your current job.
First – I’ll share with you some signs that it’s time to make a change – whether it’s changing your current role or leaving your company.
You might be thinking – well I know I can’t get the job I want or do the work I want where I am so the decision really is stay or go.
And listen, I have a perspective for you – I’ve actually helped many women who thought they needed to leave and their boss turned them down and they had the perfect IDP and it didn’t change anything, or even my client Jenn who was on the podcast in the last episode – was in the same role for 4 years and watched people get promoted that were there less time, and once we started working together she was promoted in less than 6 weeks.
She ultimately then moved to a new company to an even higher level promotion to Associate Director a month later.
So there might be options that you don’t know of – if we can agree that it’s possible you don’t know what you don’t know.
If we focus on these signs that something needs to change – this will help you know for sure – something needs to change – then we can talk about how I would think about staying or going, fair?
Ok, so if you’re wondering if maybe you’re overthinking things or wanting too much or being unreasonable…then let’s get this squared away.
Sign #1 that you’re ready for a career change: You’re consistently stressed about work.
You come home drained—not just physically tired, maybe you’re not even working a ton of hours, but you feel mentally and emotionally exhausted. Maybe it’s waiting for the shoe to drop, anxiety over the next email from your boss, or just an inability to turn work off.
You find yourself complaining to your partner or friends about work on the regular, and it’s really starting to bleed into your personal life. Maybe it’s that one annoying coworker, or a situation that you keep replaying in your head with how you would respond if you could or what you would have done differently or just trying to figure out why John is such a jerk.
And when you’re not at work, you still find yourself thinking about it.
I remember being in this pace that the mental exhaustion of the stress and just irritation I would have was getting to be a lot. It was distracting me from my family. I would get so irked. My wife, who works in industry also, told me for a couple years to quit my job because she didn’t think the stress was worth it.
If you’re so stressed you’re entertaining leaving, just quitting, looking at FMLA even, this is a strong sign – even if you recover – these good and bad rollercoaster days are a sign.
If work is consuming you this much, it’s a red flag. We all have tough days, or seasons that are stressful like FDA inspections or a BLA filing but consistent week to week? It’s time to address this issue.
Sign #2: You dread going to work.
When that alarm goes off, you’re hitting snooze—not because you’re tired, but because you just can’t with work today. You catch yourself daydreaming about taking the day off or hoping for a random snowstorm in the middle of July, just so you don’t have to go in. This doesn’t necessarily have to be from stress – it can be just that your work is draining. You’ve outgrown it. Your goals have become meaningless. If you’re constantly counting down the days until your next holiday, it’s a major sign that you’re not where you need to be.
You worked too hard to get where you are to dread your career. You deserve to have a role that energizes you and you look forward to going to.
Sign #3: You don’t feel valued.
This one hits hard. You’re working hard, but it feels like no one notices. You might feel like your contributions don’t matter, like you’re just another cog in the machine. If you find yourself in constant battles to get recognition or show your value, it’s draining, and it can leave you feeling stuck.
It’s exhausting trying to convince leadership or your team that your work matters.
The women I work with feel this way – the feeling doesn’t always come because there isn’t enough recognition or because they have a bad boss. Some of my clients get good jobs all day long but it feels empty because they feel they are developed in place, their potential and ambition isn’t recognized. Their skills have changed, their interests have changed.
That’s important to note because you might be valued – just valued where you are and you’re ready for something new that matches your capabilities.
Sign #4: You’re Complacent.
Remember when you first started your job, and you were excited, motivated, ready to take on the world? Ready to solve problems, full of ideas? You were going to show them what you’re made of.
Now, you’re just kind of coasting. You’ve gone from giving 110% to doing the bare minimum just to get through the day. Sure, your minimum might still be better than most and you are still delivering, but it’s not what you’re capable of, and you know it.
This shift from fully engaged to “just getting by” is a massive sign that something’s not right.
When you don’t care anymore. When you don’t want to give your company your best ideas. When you’re disengage and going through the motions, it’s time for a change.
Let’s talk about another way that complacency can show up – You stop pushing back. You might find yourself saying yes to everything.
You used to fight for the things that mattered, but now you’re just going with the flow. It’s easier to say yes and not rock the boat. Maybe you’ve stopped pushing back because you’re too tired or you feel like no one listens to you anyway. Whatever the reason, if you’ve become a “yes” person when you used to care deeply, it’s a big indicator that you’ve disengaged.
Sign #5: Your job doesn’t align with your skills or interests.
Maybe you’ve outgrown your role. At one point, it was a great fit, but now you’re feeling underutilized or bored. This happens a lot in pharma and biotech. Companies often hire highly qualified people but end up giving them work that doesn’t match their skills. It is an industry that prides itself on having the best talent, advanced education, but has them stuck in smaller scoped roles. Over time, that leads to frustration and boredom.
I had a client once that was so frustrated that she had to pipette all day and do routine tasks that she felt you could do without a degree yet there she was with a Masters and being told that is what they needed her to do, there wasn’t another role for her. She ended up moving on.
If you know you’re capable of so much more but aren’t being challenged or given opportunities to grow beyond your role, it’s a clear sign it’s time for a change. This leads me to the next one.
Sign #6: You stay because it’s “a good job.” or for your company name.
Are you convincing yourself to stay because of things like your salary, benefits, or the comfort of knowing what to expect or maybe because your company is considered prestigious? I was there too. I worked for a top global Pharma company. I had a job where I wrote the job description myself and I still felt like something wasn’t quite right. I wanted to make a bigger difference. I didn;t want to settle and it felt like I was. But because my job and company were great, I tried to convince myself to get over it.
Maybe you’re telling yourself it’s not that bad. But let me tell you—just because something is “comfortable” doesn’t mean it’s right for you.
If you’ve got that little voice in the back of your mind telling you there’s something more out there for you, please listen to it.
I understand when you have the career, the benefits, the status—by all accounts and maybe even other people are telling you, you should be happy. But you’re not. You feel like there’s more you could be doing, something bigger, something better.
That feeling? It’s real. And it’s there for a reason.
That is your intuition, that is the real authentic you trying to get you to listen.
There is so much social conditioning in our lives. We are hit with messages from our caretakers, loved ones, tv, bosses, career experiences, on what we should do, who we should be, what success really looks like. But when you have what’s good on paper, when you did all the right things and you’re still thinking something is off, that is you. That is your authentic self – the real you, trying to break out of what you’ve been doing for something better. Something different. Something more.
Listen to it.
You will likely regret never knowing what was really possible for you. If you could have been happier. If your potential could have been met.
#7 – You don’t see a future where you are
A top predictor of engagement is whether or not we can see a future. If in our work we don’t see a path forward because we don’t know what we want or we don’t have support at work or we have been rejected and just don’t see a path forward – it can really impact our wellbeing.
Our stress. Our engagement. How we perceive our value. Pretty much all the signs I talked about so far.
If you don’t see a path forward or a future – then it’s time for a change.
Ok so those are some of the signs it’s time for a change in your role – maybe you resonated with one, maybe you resonated with all.
The important part is that you see it and make a decision to do something about it.
So what do you do?
Do you stay or do you go?
Let’s agree you need to make a change where you are or into some place new.
Sometimes the problem can be solved with your own skill development.
Whether it’s relationship building, getting clear on what you want so you can create a business case that your leadership will say yes to, an internal transfer, there are many options to stay but make a change.
What I would consider with leaving is 1) Do you like the company you work for? Do you want to grow there – if you could get the role you wanted, would you want to stay?
If the answer is yes – then I’d suggest exploring options like I mentioned – getting outside perspective, I can certainly help with this – and we can discuss options on a coaching consultation or you can decide based on what you want to change – what would be the thing you needed to do? Is it that different people need to know you or that you need better messaging and communication to get your value and desires seen? Is it that you need boundaries or to build your confidence?
If you want to stay and you’ve exhausted all options to do so – then you have your answer.
Because the alternative would be to live in stress, working at less capability, below your potential with no future in sight.
So let’s go back – let’s say that you don’t like your company and you don’t want to work there.
Then I’d ask you – why are you entertaining staying?
If the company doesn’t align with your values and you don’t want to grow your career there, then why are you convincing yourself to stay?
Is it that you don’t think you could get a better job or it’s easier to stay?
Sometimes it is. Sometimes because of the season you’re in, a job change would make life more stressful and it makes sense to coast where you are with an exit plan, sometimes it just feels easier –
Listen if you’re asking if you should stay or go –
Then even without the signs or without the questions, I know you need a change.
Because otherwise you wouldn’t be asking.
It’s like I said earlier about your intuition, feeling there is something more for us.
We are really taught our whole life not to trust ourselves.
To make what seems like safe decisions. To make others happy. To stay in line.
So when we have that nudge of should I stay or go – it’s normal to have a lot of confusion.
But at the end of the day – you wouldn’t ask unless you wanted something to change.
Look at this way – I never ask myself if I should get a divorce or not. Because I love and am committed to my partner.
I don’t want another one. So it never pops in my mind.
If I started thinking like that – then I think you’d agree there is a problem there to address, right?
So same goes for you.
If you’re wondering if you should make a change – then yes you should.
And your first step is to take the first step.
You don’t have to know exactly what it looks like just yet or how to do it.
You just have to take the first step to making a change happen.
For some of my clients that’s figuring out what they even want, why they are unhappy, what to do.
For some it’s finding that hidden door to a new job or promotion.
For some it’s growing as a leader and becoming the person who trusts her own decisions, gains influence and stands out as a leader.
The fun part is you get to define what it is.
You get to define whatever career you want to have.
And I can help you figure out how to make it a reality.
Choose your adventure, friend.
Alright – now if you want to dig more into this – I happen to have a free training coming up on September 22nd: The Exception: Be the Leader Pharma and Biotech Can’t Overlook.
A live training for women already in pharma and biotech who want to answer what’s next, get a new job, a promotion, or to be a confident and recognized leader.
I am going to share with you a strategy you can use to stand out in this industry and be the exception to what you see around you – to build a worthy career – one worthy of your capabilities and that you feel worthy of having.
I will put the link to register in the shownotes.
And if you are thinking you want my help to personally support your change or maybe you’ve been listening for a while and thinking about it – now is the time. At the end of the training I’m going to share details about The Right Move Protocol – the same program you heard Jenn talk about in the last episode. Enrollment will be open September 21-September 28. During that time you can schedule a consultation call with me directly so we can discuss your career, your desires, what you want to change, and how I might help. If you and I are a good fit and the program is a good fit for your goals – you’ll be invited to join our exclusive space just for women like you – who truly are creating an exceptional and worthy career.
That is all for this week’s episode – if you take just one thing away today it is if you are questioning a change you want one. Take the next best step right now.
Have an amazing week.
