Putting Yourself First with Jenna Burke

Melissa

Hi, Jenna. I’m so happy to have you on the podcast today.

Jenna

I’m so glad to be here.

Melissa

So can you tell the listeners a little bit about you, just who you are and what you do?

Jenna

Sure. So I am for my career. I work in project management for Biotech Company. So I work in clinical operations, running some of our clinical trials for Hobbies. I am launching into the beach boding world really into health and fitness like to just hang out with friends. Certainly working on that work life balance, which I’m Jon talked about a lot today. But, yeah, that’s me in a nutshell. Awesome.

Melissa

So for the purpose of our conversation today, we’re going to talk a bit about where you were before we started working together, and then that process of the time that we’ve had together and then kind of what your life is like now, if you go back, we’ve been working together a little over six months. So if you can go back to six months ago, do you remember what things were like for you?

Jenna

Yes. Very clearly. It’s a place that I don’t want to be in again, I say I was in a a bit of a funk, but a stress funk of mental clutter of work was crazy. I mean, this is six months ago, COVID had hit, I think COVID decide we were in the work from home mindset. But in general, the career side of my life has just exploded. Workload increased quite a bit. I was definitely losing that work life balance. And then from that on a personal sense, I’m moving into a new decade in my life, and I was really starting to evaluate what am I doing?

Jenna

Is this is my work making me happy, because right now, I am just so stressed all the time. I can’t even think straight. I’m distancing relationships with friends because I feel like I need to prioritize work over everything else and then me fast forwarding into the future. The way I was thinking about it was, oh, my gosh. I don’t want to go into and I want to wake up one day and realize that all I talk about are all I do is work. I’m losing track of hobbies or things that I want to get into.

Jenna

And, you know, even just that stress alone for me, being so involved in my career made me think like, well, is this the career that I want to stay in? Am I even happy doing this? And then the thought of switching careers, I was stressing me out. So it was a bit of a jumbled mess in my brain, a bit of spiraling out of control. I’m really just hoping to kind of take back the reins and move into this next decade of life, feeling like I had clear set goals and things that I want to accomplish and being really comfortable in the place that I was in.

Jenna

Yeah.

Melissa

I remember you feeling really overwhelmed. And you had recruiters reaching out to you. And you were like, I’m not sure. Should I apply for this job? Should I go for that job? Should I stay where I am? And then at the same time, you were working so much that, like you said, didn’t have that personal life. And you just were stressed and a little bit has like you said, yes.

Jenna

And then just thinking of where I was in my life from a career standpoint, like, do I need to work towards a promotion? Should I try to be a higher title? What does it take to get there? So really, just craziness overall.

Melissa

So can you think of anything that you tried to solve that on your own before you reached out to me?

Jenna

Yeah. So I think that really if work was offering, I guess I’ll propose this with because we moved from working in the office to being remote. I’m very fortunate that my company was being more mindful of setting up little seminars for people to help the work life balance, stress management, just little things. Right. So I have attended some of those. And, you know, you go to an hour long session. This is great. You try to take some of the techniques, you write them down and then, like, a week later, it’s like the idea this would be great if I can follow up, but no one’s holding you accountable.

Jenna

You know what you need to be doing. But for most of us, we probably just kind of put it to the wayside and keep going on the way that we’ve been functioning. Which likely is it working very well. And then I think from that, really, my outlet was just my friends when we get together at that point, really the gathering for walks. So if I went on an outdoor walk with one of my friends, I mean, the work stresses and my complaints, that was always at the forefront of my conversation.

Jenna

But that was really the only way that I was venting, right? It wasn’t really taking any action. It was just like, let me go on this walk after work and complain about how my day was and how she I am at work all day. Yeah. It’s not getting me anywhere.

Melissa

I got to take over a little bit. So when you think about that, like, your obstacles. So I know you were referred to me through a mutual friend. So when you thought of them working with a coach, was there anything that kind of got in your way or you thought, I don’t know if this is going to work or I don’t have to or who pays money for this. Did any of that come up for you?

Jenna

I think that the biggest thing for me and that we’ve been working through. And our coaching is a bit of the vulnerability. And then I think a slot that always pops into my mind or thought that did pop into my mind. And I thought the same way with, like, if you’re seeing therapy, well, are they actually going to get it? How much am I going to have to explain this back so they won’t understand what I’m going through. So that was obviously a concern. And then when you start feeling like, you need to preface so much of the information.

Jenna

But really, I mean, not being through this. I think a lot of the problems that people have are so similar that is to have, like, a person that’s on the outside looking in that can just listen to what I’m saying versus trying to piece together all of the, like, the relationships in my life, who I work with or who said what? Yeah.

Melissa

Like, objectively.

Jenna

See, mind drama.

Melissa

Exactly.

Jenna

So that was, I think, my biggest concern. Of course, there were, like, financial concerns, but I have taken, I mean, the work life balance. One was, I think, one of the bigger pieces I needed to work on. But through the last couple of years have really been working on figuring out just what I call self care, focusing on myself making myself a priority. So at that point, looking at the financial piece, it was like, well, this is the time to do it, because there’s always going to be something else that comes up.

Jenna

There’s always going to be something else that you have to pay for. And I guess this is something that could help me long term. Well, in the investment now is very minimal compared to, like, again, a decade later. I want to have these tools and habits already in place.

Melissa

So that’s a really great way to look at it is the investment now and what it’s getting you in the future. And just that people generally don’t have a bunch of money sitting aside for something like coaching or for something that is self care oriented. If anyone has money aside, it’s usually for what’s considered a more practical expense, like a new HVAC system. Or I could say it’s like.

Jenna

Your roof needs repair your new windows. One of the arguments I have with my friend all the time is, you know, they’re improving their house, and she’s like, well, we’re saving for new windows so we can’t do this to submit. I mean, you can.

Melissa

Yeah, it’s all how you allocate your money, like what you decide you want to do with it. When you think back to the conversation that we had before, it was official that I was going to be your coach. Do you remember why you chose to work with me?

Jenna

I think. Well, I think you have to have a connection. It’s like dating. You have to be comfortable, right? And feel like that other person that understands what you’re talking about. Are you feeling will help. And I mean, I felt that I was like, she seems to get it like, exactly what I’m going through. And also someone that I could tell would challenge me a bit. Like, obviously what I’m doing or was doing for myself isn’t working. So I need someone to challenge that, and I could sense that I would that I would get that in the best way possible.

Melissa

So that’s good. That is true. That is part of my role is to challenge your thinking. So does so now that we’ve worked together. If you now fast forward six plus months, what is your career in life like now?

Jenna

So I will say that one of the main goals was obviously having that bounce. I’m going to continue to say it because that was the most important. And not only am I more balanced in my workload, but I’ve also been really focusing on making it a norm in conversation with in the workplace. Right? Making sure you have that balance. Also, I vocalizing my bandwidth because I was often someone that would just take things on and say, yes, yes, I can do that. I can do that. And I would put my personal things to the wayside like, Well, it’s fine. I just have to get this done through work.

I can reschedule my friends. I can miss that book club meeting. I’ll catch the next one, but that really compounds on itself. So now I’m definitely more engaged in my personal life have had more time for some hobbies that I wanted to explore. And I think one of the biggest things for me that’s been huge. And I was talking to someone at work about this today was realizing how much I was saying I should do something versus wanting to something in that.

Jenna

I remember when you pointed that out to me, noting that should have such a negative connotation to it. It really made me start to think about they should do versus what is truly making me happier, what I really enjoy doing. You know, obviously, we are all going to have to do things that we don’t want to do from time to time. But that shouldn’t be the way that we’re leading our lives. So for me, that’s been such a game changer just in my general mindset, because I can go through a day or a week really evaluating what I’m taking on from the work sense as well.

Jenna

I think it’s something that was very hard for me is, you know, up until the time where I realized, oh, my gosh, my brain is craziness and chaotic right now. I really enjoyed my work. I really like what I do. And then I got to this point of just like, burnout and craziness and questioning if it was truly what I wanted. So then to kind of and again, you push me on this one. So we like, Well, do you love your job? It’s okay if you don’t, it’s okay if you don’t like it or even some days don’t like it, you don’t have to you have to love your job every day, right?

Jenna

And that just owning that. That some days I really just don’t like my job. Some days it’s just a pay check was kind of really refreshing and took someone’s weight off because I work in the rare disease realm. So one of the factors that kind of add some stress is you want to feel motivated to do what you do every day for the people that you’re helping. But sometimes you do have to take a step back for that and look at yourself and look at what you’re doing and realize that it is still just a job.

Jenna

So it’s okay if that’s not motivating me today, it doesn’t make me a bad person. If I don’t love my job as much as maybe some other people that I work with on the daily do. So I think just kind of taking away that pressure of feeling like, oh, my gosh, I’m so busy. But I have to love what I do every day for the people that we’re helping really helps, because I could just take that little piece of clutter out of my brain is like purchase to the wayside and focus the task at hand.

Jenna

And, you know, just giving myself Grace, generally speaking, for what I do accomplish and what I can get through also has just been one that we don’t like to acknowledge the hard work that we do again ourselves. Most of us. I mean, for me, it’s very uncomfortable. I don’t like compliments. I don’t like realizing that, like, hey, yeah, I’m doing a good job. So I think just being able to reflect on that and even say it to myself, it’s really, really game changing for me. Oh, yeah.

Melissa

I feel like you just needed permission to not make your day job your identity. Because when we started, I still think back fondly on you being very and this speaks to what you said about warming up and becoming vulnerable about what you wanted. You were like, I want to be promoted. And I want to do this higher level. And I want to have direct reports, and I want to have all of these things in my home. And then I took you through myself. I discovery process, and it was a little bit resistant at first, right.

Melissa

And then I remember we got to a point. I was like, Is this really what you want? Are you sure that this is the direction you want to go? Because when it came to working on some of those things that would get you to that level, it just seemed clear that that’s not really what you wanted. So once you were able to give yourself that permission and that Grace to just enjoy what you enjoy about your job and stop making it everything in your life, then if you had a bad day at work, it didn’t mean you were bad.

Melissa

If you had a good day at work. You were good. You just have this job you like and you’re also awesome on your own.

Jenna

Yeah. And to add that you, like, so much of the distress and pressure is like, well, I’m at a certain point in my life, should I be making money or have ex title. And even though going through this process, I realized that it’s not something I actually really want. So I’m adding all this extra pressure to myself without even realizing it to get to a certain title, even though, again, through a lot of what we’ve been working on, realizing that I am actually very comfortable where I am.

Jenna

That’s okay. It’s okay to just sit and become kind of an expert in what I’m doing right now and not be so worried of what title in hitting or salary I’m hitting, because that’s not like what’s driving me and what I enjoy in the day to day or what I want out of every day.

Melissa

And when you stop doing that, then you started getting more opportunity and more appraised at work, right?

Jenna

Yes. It’s been such a funny switch, but, I mean, I guess that’s that’s what I was hoping for and that I had basically this refresh moment where I could take a step back and re evaluated what I was doing and realize that no, I don’t want to leave my company. I really like it here. I want to stay here, and I don’t want to push for this big promotion because I actually really like the position I’m in and what I’m currently working on and am enjoying what I’m doing, and I have new ideas and I want to share them.

Jenna

And it gave me more energy to get through the day versus the dread that I was feeling by. We talked for this. I took a week off and then came back and I think the Wednesday through my week was already dreading the Monday of Google and then just focusing on the time being off.

Jenna

So now it’s like.

Jenna

Okay, well, now I know what to expect. I don’t have that sense of dread anymore in case the Sunday scaries, but it’s nothing compared to that, like, Gosh, just like this hit that was constantly my stomach of what fire is going to be in my face, that I didn’t get accomplished because I just didn’t have the time or you just feel like that uneasy feeling.

Melissa

It seems uncomfortable to even talk about right here. Yeah. That’s great. So if you could pick just, like, a couple things that you think have had these real world, tangible benefits that coaching has helped you with, what would you say those things are?

Jenna

I think I’m going to say it again the balance, because, I mean, that was an ultimate goal of mine. I need to have the time outside of work so I can have time with my friends. Date, like, go on dates, which has been very successful. Focus on if I wanted to get more into my health and fitness journey, have more time to do that and not feel like upset all the time because I realized I was just giving all my energy to work so that the bounce definitely big.

Jenna

I think my general outlook. So I think the reminder of you don’t have to love your job every day. It can up check, taking kind of flipping. We worked on the soft week when I was feeling overwhelmed a little bit with, like, this is a crazy week, a lot on my plate. I can’t handle my workload, kind of flipping it to remind yourself like, no, you can. You can get through it and then also not to overthink. So I have a terrible habit of spiraling my brain by overthinking, not in a debilitating way, but I go through, like, the what if and I kind of play out.

Jenna

I’m a project manager so very quickly play out different scenarios in my brain because that’s what I had to do for work is constantly have a through F scenario ready to go at all times. Right. And through some of the exercises that we needed, realizing that, well, none of the decisions that have gotten me this far in my life have cause catastrophic bags, right? They’ve generally all led. They’ve all been a good decision or they haven’t been a bad decision. That reminder to myself that, well, nothing that I do likely is going to just completely off rail my goals or cause such a detrimental effect that I wouldn’t be able to bounce back.

Jenna

There’s no proof so far that that would happen. So I think just not overthink and to trust myself a little bit more.

Melissa

Yeah. Not so powerful that you trust yourself now, just reflecting back on some of the doomsday scenarios that we can all create when a thing is new and you just have so much more. I mean, you said the word Grace with yourself and trust that you can handle these situations and that you can make the right decision for you. It’s so great.

Jenna

Yeah. I mean, it feels great. I think I say this one for a session like, I just feel lighter in, which is great. That’s how you want to feel, right.

Melissa

Yeah. So we talked a little bit about how your view on your work and your career is different now versus how it used to be. How is your view of yourself different?

Jenna

I think that I I mean, I think I’m definitely more confident in just what I’m talking about. I think I’m more way more vulnerable than I was when we started. I’m usually not much of an emotional person or everything about it. It’s not ever a word I would have used to describe myself and typically identify some of those moments of weakness. That’s just not something that I do. So I really I think that that is definitely shifted quite a bit and I think that honestly just being more honest with the person and just having these conversations.

Jenna

I’m pretty much like I have relationships that work in my personal life where if you ask me a question, I’m pretty honest, and I’m always willing to have harder conversations with people. But I think just being more honest of how I am truly feeling or how I am in the moment is really, really helps me. Because now looking back, like I’ve shared multiple times that I wasn’t in a good place. A couple of months ago, I had hit rock bottom, like I had a burn out and weather.

Jenna

You want to play it on working from home and Cove factors or the fact that my workload has increased, which I had, in fact did, and just how we function in this particular example, how we function as a company like, things need to change. And I’ve been really comfortable talking about that, which goes to that vulnerability. I would never share that I couldn’t take on a specific task or just felt like anxious and not interested in and disconnected. And I’ve gotten really comfortable talking about that, which I think it’s important for people to do overall, because even I always having a conversation today with one of the higher ups in our group who actually can help create change other than us.

Jenna

Just coworkers talking amongst yourself. He’s someone that does truly want to help and care those people. So just to share that, I share that I started working with a life coach, like, on my own, not through work. It was just something I do for myself, and he is super supportive of it. And I think just normalizing that conversation. And again, I may have shared previously with people just I would help them have difficult conversations, but I would have never probably been comfortable, especially in the work and sharing like that was not okay.

Jenna

Yeah.

Melissa

Yeah. And just speaking up, I just I love your journey so much commercial to all my clients, but I really do, because I so vividly. Just remember early on when I said you had these defined goals, you’re like, okay, this is what I want. And then you and I don’t like talking about myself, and I don’t like change. And I was like, okay, well, we will see how this goes, because that is what coaching is a going to be a rise. But you said you totally opened up after it just takes, like building that trust.

Melissa

So like you said before, it’s scary at first. But once you just commit to yourself in the process, then little by little, you start opening up and then you start having all these results that you’re having.

Jenna

And, you know, obviously a huge focus of this, especially the beginning for me, was career oriented because is issue at hand, but it obviously has affected other areas of my life. So, you know, when I started coaching, I was kind of trying to re emerge into the dating world and just which is not an ideal time during a pin on it, just trying to like again, going to this new decade, life and all the what ifs and I should be married, I should have kids, I should X and then taking a step back into what I truly want.

Jenna

And I’m now in a relationship. So obviously it’s worked. But just to sometimes in the same sense, my brain was fire of the okay, well, if I like this person and then we move in together, like, where are we going to live? Because all of those considerations that my brain. I always say this goes from zero to 100. We did a whole session once. I was just complaining about dating and just focus on what you want, right. And what’s going to make you happy. And some of your non negotiables.

Jenna

And I think being an advocate for myself, like, sticking to that has really, really helped me a lot. But that same common factor of we don’t need to not of things that happen right now. You don’t have to over think it like just take a step by step. And if it is that you move, but maybe you’re not sure about the area, like houses have a transition plan or have a plan in place or just work through these things together. Those reminders have been really, really helpful.

Jenna

And the same the same way is translated in my career, like some of the vulnerabilities to translate into their personal life way more vulnerable with friends and now boyfriend that I probably would have been. Yeah.

Melissa

I’m already saying that the relationship with your mom, with your friends, like, everything is just more positive and open. And it is it’s all just working on the next best step, not 2020 months from now or whatever the future, because I mean, that’s just naturally how we think we have to kind of just redirect it to knowing that you can make decisions for yourself and what’s the best next thing that you want to do.

Jenna

And it’s funny because all of the things that in our first session, I said I wanted when you read me back some of those points, even in my personal life, like, no, that doesn’t really fit anymore. Like to be so convinced that I was just like, this independent person that needed to build these things for myself. And while I still feel that way, and of course, I always want something for myself, I realized that no, I do want like, a partner. There’s a whole other life. I just was kind of pushing to the wayside that I didn’t think I wanted that.

Jenna

Now it’s just very quickly rising into something that I really do want. So it’s just funny because it’s that same situation, like everything flipped. There’s a couple little mindset tweaks, and they feel like my whole outlook on yeah.

Melissa

Could you stop focusing your goals on what you thought you should want and what was a safe choice, and you just redirect it and learned that you can make good choices and that you know what you want. Once you learned what that was, then things change. But I think that’s why your goals and the things that you were saying so early on that you don’t recognize now were because you are still in that cloud of societal pressures and what you think you should do and being afraid of getting hurt and all the things impact so many of us and all that clutter.

Jenna

It was all that up in there.

Melissa

Yeah. So we talked a little bit about any kind of unexpected results that you had from coaching, like, kind of the ripple effects to your personal relationship. Is there anything we didn’t talk about that was a result that you had from coaching that you didn’t expect?

Jenna

I think some of the more Proactive measures with family things we had indicated that as something that through the coaching process, I would like to work on. Which is funny, because when I thought of some of the things that a life coach that could help me with family was never one that popped up for me. It’s just, like, takes fine. It’s fine. But then, you know, when I started to think about it, I realized my nephew, for example, I would like, for weird reasons, we just procrastinate making plans or just not do something like, when I go back home and go see him, I should really just take him out, just me and him to connect.

Jenna

Send him a text. He’s ten. So he’s got a phone that he can makes his own plans, send him a text message, and you just, like, have time with him, right? So I want to be, like, the fun and I don’t get the same as much because I don’t live in the same state. So, like, he’s like, a band now. And whatever reason, I would get home and then just wouldn’t do those things. And then I would leave and feel so guilty that I had it.

Jenna

And I was like, mad at myself. Why don’t you just text it? Like, why was this something you put off if you want to do it? And one of the actions I think of our meetings when I was back home was just like, well, just make the plans. And it’s so easy. Like, we’ll just do it.

Melissa

Like, what’s stopping you from them right now? I don’t know. I don’t know what’s stopping me. I don’t know what if you just check when you get off the phone, I guess I could do that.

Jenna

And just things like that where it sounds so simple. But sometimes you just need that other person to kind of give you that push, and then you do it, and it’s fine. And now everything’s fine. I can make lens of him when I want and what was afraid of? Nothing. Why was I doing it? I couldn’t tell you, but happy.

Melissa

It was part of that vulnerability stuff again, with yourself out there, the relationship was important to you. All these things are connected, which I don’t think people always realize that when you start to work on career, it really impacts every part of your life. Because how you show up at work is how you’re showing up everywhere.

Jenna

And I think to another unexpected benefit of just kind of how I shifted same thing with the vulnerability. Leroy Gosh, you said it.

Melissa

So what, you can’t say it anymore?

Jenna

I know I can say I’m not emphasizing going to try is one thing that I was because I’m on, like, a health and fitness journey. I talked a lot about, like, I know in each on SoCal media. I know any sun on social media. Everyone knows if you’re going through any type of journey or if you want people to join you on your journey, you need on social media. And even just like my first store story, where I was taught where it was on me, talking was one that I was not willing.

Jenna

I think I press. I push that off.

Melissa

You did not want to be on video.

Jenna

Did not want to be like, I could face it. I could face that camera to something else and talk, but on me to just talk about what I’m going through, and I did it. And that was one thing. Again. It was about your like, well, how about you do it today, right? Right after noon. And not that I’m only doing things because you’re telling me too. But again, you’re like what we’re really have, right? It’s that reminder. What’s the worst that could happen if someone doesn’t like what you have to say, they won’t listen or they can follow you.

Jenna

But if that’s important to you, like, put it out there, you actually be surprised how many people will either be supportive or want to join you on your journey that you just didn’t even know that you were affecting. So it’s funny because it’s, like, set a reminder, like, don’t overthink it. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Like, you have the energy you love, what you’re doing, that people will see that. Just put it out there. You’re not going to die. Oh, yeah.

Melissa

Your brain can’t always tell the difference. So your brain may be on the top.

Jenna

I I wasn’t sure. And, you know, I did it. And it’s also just now part of my common practice. But it’s getting taking that step to just have someone, like, walking through it so fast.

Melissa

Figure out why you’re standing in your own way, right? But all of that, I think these are such good examples because they all tie to that vulnerability, not comparing yourself, putting yourself out there, having more kind of emotional conversations, not being afraid to try new things, like all of those things are connected.

Jenna

And I think just the comparing in itself. What you think you should be doing what you actually want to do just this time with social media being so in our places all the time. It’s really easy to compare yourself in any aspect of life. It’s so easy to compare yourself. Just that reminder of, like, focusing on what what is a driver for heat not living your own life should be a driver because the person next to you is doing other right.

Melissa

That’s so good. Okay. What was your favorite part of the coaching process?

Jenna

You know, actually, I think my favorite session to date has been when we when you reviewed my the past months, like my.

Melissa

Okay, so the end of our first six months together?

Jenna

Yes. Because that was truly I had seen the changes through a lot on it, like we had noticed on my notice, I shifted myself. But at that point, to truly see how far has come was like, shocking, because I almost I did not recognize the person that was saying those things from the first session. None of what I indicated as a goal or something I wanted to explore more was something that sounded interesting or something that I wanted now in my urine. That is exactly. And then it may be so excited for, like that was in six months.

Jenna

Is it going to look like a year from now or in another six months?

Melissa

Yeah.

Jenna

So it’s like it’s kind of when you see transformation pictures of people like, side by side and you’re like, Holy cow. That’s amazing. And you’ve seen them all along, like, working super hard. It was that feeling and also just realizing that I took this leap, right. I need an investment myself and it’s working. The last thing you want is just to be doing something I don’t really know. Like, I can’t tell you if I see a difference that I’m going to stick to it because I feel like I should another shot.

Jenna

But now I actually say, like I say and notice the changes in myself and also, I mean, you’ve indicated that you’ve seen them. It’s it’s really fun because it makes you want to keep going.

Melissa

Yeah. I think measuring progress is so important. So for those that are not familiar with this process, what we do is we set goals in the beginning, and then we check in every couple of months on where we are based on those initial targets. During every session, I’m always taking notes on what we’re coaching on on hangups you’re having on wins. You’re having on things you’re saying, like, if you have a really powerful statement about yourself or maybe even something that you’re still really getting stuck on, I got those things down.

Melissa

So then at the end of that six months, we can review all of those things, not just the goals, but just you could actually hear the words that you were saying and how those have changed and every month, seeing how that language changes and the things that you’re doing that are different. It’s just so powerful.

Jenna

Yeah. It really is. And, like, small things, it’s kind of like when your looking to mirror at yourself every day, you don’t see how you’re changing to see that kind of compile over time. It was just and I reference that in communication. So I’m like, I have to read, you have to read you this from my coach sent me for my original sessions because the people that are closest in my life to me, and I’ve been telling them about this journey, and it’s only six months. You know, it’s like it doesn’t take years and years to change.

Jenna

Even some of the changes just week to week. There’ll be a huge difference in how I feel like everything just happened at six months.

Melissa

Right?

Jenna

But seeing it like month by month because you get out month by month, what I was saying and how it’s progressing. I was like, wow, it’s it’s awesome. It’s like super. It’s inspiring and motivating to just keep going. I don’t know what if my life will look like in six months? So six. No.

Melissa

That’s always so funny. I feel like sometimes in the beginning, people are like, six months. That seems so long to solve my problem. But then when they get to the end of the six months and actually see everything that’s been impacted in these ripple effects we’ve talked about, I feel like the response is always it was only six months. It’s totally different. It was six months.

Jenna

Yeah. And I think, too, like, focusing even like, obviously, you have big wins throughout the process. But even like, the smaller wins that you asked about on a weekly basis in between acknowledging those because we go through our days and these things happen. But you don’t think about it well in it. But I see on those is actually really helpful because you’re like, wait, I have a com something this week or I to tackle that challenge this week. Or I just felt like a really awesome day about it.

Melissa

It’s so easy for us to gloss over all of the things that we’re doing that are great and just focus on the one critical thing.

Jenna

Yeah.

Melissa

So what would you say to someone who isn’t familiar with coaching or has never invested in their own development before?

Jenna

It’s similar to probably everything I’ve been saying this time. It was the way I describe it to the people closest to me. Is it help clear the clutter from my head? Like it got me out of my own way, is continuing to get me out of my own way. And just, like, like, clearing out the crap that was just fogging down, like what I wanted, what I thought I wanted, how I live my day to day life, the activities I do in my day to day life.

Jenna

That’s the simplest and easiest way to put it. I think that going into coaching, you have to, like you said, kind of be prepared to want to resist and to fight through that because I remember you saying, like, hey, we’re going to go through this process. I think it was the career looking more like the career anchors. And you may not like the result. You may want to resist the results because you think that you should be going into one you don’t actually want. So I think it’s being super open minded and just willing to kind of trust the process because again, when someone doesn’t truly know you and you don’t think, like, are they going to understand it’s really easy to go on the defense?

Jenna

No, that’s not how I think at all. It’s not. But you have to just kind of open it up and hear someone else who is actually listening to what you’re saying versus a lot of times when I start talking, I could go off forever and probably forget how to what I say. But to have that person that can sit there and listen and aggressively say, Well, the way that you’re talking about to sound like it’s really causing you some, like, pause or hesitation or craziness that open mindedness.

Jenna

I think just trusting the process and it’s and you’re probably going to hate to say this, but it’s hard. It isn’t an easy process, right? Like, for me, at least for people that struggle, like talking about themselves or like, maybe confronting something that’s uncomfortable or realizing that this may require me to make a change. And I don’t know that I feel like making a change right now. Isn’t it easier to just keep doing what I’m doing? It’s a hard process. But again, if you’re taking the time, you want to truly invest in yourself, you kind of just have to being for the ride because it’s just it’s worth it.

Jenna

I mean, obviously, if you feel like you need a little bit of guidance and doesn’t like mine was career driven. But like, we’ve talked about personal life, whether it be like Orange relationship, family relationships, my emotional health, my health and fitness journey. And we’ve talked about it all. You just have to be willing to be open and also very honest, because I think that there are certain I’m sure it could be easy to kind of come into this coaching environment. And for me, the person being coached to kind of like, vs on my way through it.

Jenna

Yeah, I’m doing that. Yeah. I made that list. Yeah, I prioritize. But then you’re not getting anything out of it. Like, really take the tools and use them and practice them. And again, it could be hard, and it could be maybe cumbersome or out of your normal practice for every day, like writing a list of what was a win for that day or what you want to work on or creating a task looks for task list for yourself. But if you just try and try to implement that as a practice, it could go so far, and it can’t get any worse.

Jenna

Right? Like if you’re considering right thing, it’s not going to get worse. So if it’s something that can actually help you and make your life better, and then at that point, if it doesn’t work, maybe a term tool would be more helpful, then at least, you’ll know, and you can gear your goals a little bit differently or your every day a little bit differently. But yeah, I I say it a lot, but it’s been hard, but it’s definitely worth it. And that hard is really just the self reflection.

Jenna

Yeah.

Melissa

I mean, it definitely is hard because, I mean, you get coaching and then you take action, and then we evaluate the action and then you get coaching and you take action and you evaluate the action until you’re getting the results that you want. But it’s hard to have a mirror held up. And for you to learn to take accountability for your own results. And part of that is the way that you’re thinking and understanding that connection between your thoughts and your results and how you have the power to make that change change.

Melissa

But you have to want to do that work. You have to want to have someone hold the mirror up to you and to listen to you and to point out when you’re doing things that aren’t aligned with what you said you wanted and to question some of your decisions or to notice if you’re not really being genuine or you’re saying you’re doing things when you’re not and to really help you not from a place of, like making you do something you don’t want to do because it’s always about what you want.

Melissa

But just to help you get out your own way and understand yourself so that you can get what you want, right?

Jenna

Yeah. And it’s huge. Everything is hard, right? But like, I’m a firm believer that people should invest in themselves. And I’ve tried to leave an example of that for the last couple of years. And I mean, this definitely supports that point, right? It’s giving back so much. And I’m really excited because again, my goal. One of my main goals is as I approach a decade of life. I wanted to kind of have, like, a clear path forward and things I want focus on this next part of my life.

Jenna

And it’s exciting because I’m like, I’m right on track for that. I’ve just bunk and cleared the clutter, and now I can do more of.

Melissa

Like, the fun stuff is another six months together in more than your mom. So keeping you, you’re doing so many amazing things now. And I think it’s such a good testament to when you invest in yourself and you do the work like you said. And you get because that’s where the girth happens is where you’re uncomfortable. So if you can get comfortable being uncomfortable, then you can really achieve anything.

Jenna

Yeah, it’s been great. I really, really enjoyed this hard. I have enjoyed.

Melissa

It is hard. We laugh in every session, but we do.

Jenna

We do.

Melissa

You’re going to have this image of me being like a school teacher with, like, a ruler.

Jenna

I know she’s going to need it when I say.

Melissa

It. Is there anything that we didn’t talk about that you wanted to mention?

Jenna

I think we’ve covered it all. I was like making sure we talked about career and the personalized just because, you know, I could go off on Tangents forever, but no, I think I think we covered it awesome.

Melissa

Well, before we go, I know that you are doing beach body in your coach. So do you want to share maybe where people can find you if they want to kind of follow you or learn more about it?

Jenna

Sure. So Instagram is always the best way. My name on Instagram is Jerk 514, currently doing a really fantastic cleanse.

Jenna

Been quite the journey again, proving to yourself that you can do hard things. But no, I really just that’s another part of my personal journey that I have just truly enjoyed and really have loved just doing something for myself and would always love for people to join me on that just always a better your life.

Melissa

They can catch some of your live videos first hand.

Jenna

Yes.

Melissa

Awesome.

Jenna

Alright.

Melissa

Well, thank you so much for being on the show.

Jenna

Yes. Thank you for having me. This is great. Bye.