June 15, 2022

Living in Possibility

I'm Melissa
I'm a Career and Leadership Coach for Women in Pharma/Biotech. I've been where you are, and I help you create the career you want without working more hours or settling for good enough.
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In this episode, we are talking about what happens when you give up on your goals versus what happens when you believe what you want is possible.

This may seem simple but it is one shift that can make a big difference in what you achieve in your career.

There are hidden ways your brain can work for you and against you.  You’re going to learn how one tweak can take your career to the next level and help you achieve your impossible goals.

What You’ll Learn

How to avoid sabotaging your progress

The importance of living in possibility

How to make the shift from feeling defeated to your goals are inevitable

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Welcome to Navigating Your Career, the only podcast that blends personal development, professional skills, and psychology to help you get happy.

At work and live the life you want.

If you want to stop feeling stuck and start feeling better, this is the place for you. I’m your host, Melissa Lawrence. Let’s get started.

Hello, and welcome to this week’s episode of the podcast. So today we are going to shift our conversation to belief, belief in yourself and living in possibility. And I’m going to talk to you about how this can make such a big difference for you as you work towards your goals. And before we do, I want to say happy beginning of summer. At this point, either your children are done with school if you have them, or they’re wrapping up school, or you’re maybe planning your summer vacations. And I hope you have some time planned for yourself, whether it be an official vacation or just working in some time to focus on you doing what you really love. I have a couple of vacations planned this summer. One is more of a staycation where we’re going to take advantage of everything our area has to offer. So we live in the Washington, DC, area, and there’s a lot to do, not just in the city, but there’s hiking and Whitewater rafting. And the Appalachian Trail has multiple access points near where I live. And there are even some ice cream factories that I want to check out with the kids.

So we are going to check off some of those things that have been on our to do list and be a tourist in our own area. I’m sure you can relate, regardless of where you live or how big your city is or anything like that. We take for granted kind of the beauty around us sometimes and that we can do those things any time that we want to, and then we don’t really ever do that. Like for us going into DC, we make an effort to do that more often. It’s only 45 minutes from us, but a lot of the monuments and things, it’s like we do that when people come to visit us from out of town, then we give them the tour and go see all of the main attractions. And there’s all those kind of little things, too. And so we want to take advantage of that as well. And we also have a trip to Florida planned later in the summer. So I have a conference that I’m attending for my business. And given the location of the conference, the family is definitely going to be joining me. And we’re going to extend it for a few days so that we can have some encounters with Manatees and do some of the parks.

And so I’m really looking forward to that. So hopefully everything with Covet at this point stays mild enough that we can all continue to have our summer plans. All right. Now, let’s dive right in to today’s topic. You might have seen this title and wondered what this is really all about. And I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. In the conversations that I’ve been having, it’s become apparent that so many of you don’t really know what is possible for you. Some of you will entertain the question, though, and a lot of my clients that come to me really want this question answered. Because think about it. You can have a beautiful life with everything that you had hoped for, but not really feel fulfilled or challenged or happy in it. So you might wonder, what else is there for me? Do I have a secret sauce or a zone of genius that I could tap into? What would really light me up? Am I living up to my potential? Can I figure this out now before it’s too late? And I certainly had those questions too. It was almost a fear for me. That’s how I experienced it, that I would never figure it out, that I would spend years and years just wondering and never actually doing anything to figure it out.

And then I would look back and wish I had done something, done more, maybe impact that I thought I was capable of but didn’t really know how. And that is really what started me on my own journey into creating my own business. And really, that is something that I’ve used throughout my career. So even before I had my business, I had that little nudge and I just listened to it and it allowed me to really expand within my career and ultimately led me to where I am now. And today I want to invite you to live in a world of possibility with me because I feel like this is something we tell people or we think it’s kind of an old fable or something from childhood saying like you can do anything or the world is your oyster, right? And as you get older and reality sets in and you have all of these different responsibilities and demands, everything just kind of becomes not super routine. But maybe for some of you where I go to work and I have responses I take care of at home. And then there are certain things we do on the weekends and your work affords you a nice lifestyle and you kind of just get into that routine for a number of years and you may have more to give or more you want to give or bigger impact you could make or just a little nudge inside of you too.

And it can be hard to live in possibility if you think that everything is just too serious and if you think that things are just the way they are or that’s just for kids, this episode is really just about helping you tap into that. And I’m going to explain why it’s important and how it’s going to make a difference. Because when we entertain that there is more possible for us, we achieve the impossible. We create the impossible results. So let’s say you’re at work and you’re working toward a promotion, but your boss doesn’t seem to really care about it, right? It’s not really getting anywhere. Maybe you’ve mentioned it and they said they would work on it. They can see kind of why you want that or how you’re qualified for it, but it’s not really gaining momentum the way that you would like it to. And so you start to think that it’s just not going to happen, that it’s just your company or it’s your boss or something else needs to change, or it’s just kind of not in the cards and it will happen eventually. Maybe that thought thinking that way may leave you feeling defeated.

And when you feel defeated, think about how you would show up at work. I bet you would have lower energy, maybe slack off just a little bit, maybe take more time off just because you can start scrolling on social media or maybe looking for jobs. Maybe thinking that how far you’ve gotten is just how far you’re going to get. So you start pulling back at work and your attitude is changing and your energy is changing. And that is not only going to make you kind of feel like crap, but it’s also going to move you further from your goal. You’ll be less likely to get that promotion because the way you’re showing up is different and you might not even notice it. But what happens if you live in possibility in this situation? Let’s say you have the same circumstance, but instead of thinking it isn’t going to happen, you think I’m making progress, right? Just a small shift. You wouldn’t feel defeated. You’d feel hopeful. Maybe even just content, right? Maybe just content. You wouldn’t even feel hopeful. Then think about how you would show up at work. If you had that feeling, you’d likely be a little bit more driven.

You’d continue to do your work as usual. Maybe you would circle back to your boss and brainstorm how you can get them moving a little bit more quickly towards that promotion, and as a result, you would get a different outcome. So the small shift in believing in the possibility can make a really big difference because our beliefs, whether we’re conscious of them or not, are connected to the way that we feel and the way that we behave. And so I want you to ask yourself, what would you need to believe in order to hold possibility for yourself in order to stay in the dream that whatever you want can happen, or even that what you want is inevitable to happen, that it is guaranteed to happen when you aren’t getting validation from your boss or anyone else? What could you think that would keep you in that possibility? Because listen, I want you to consider that the things that we use as measurement that we are making progress towards our goals don’t actually mean that we are meeting our goals. What I know. Let me say that again, the things that we use as measurement that we are making progress toward our goals don’t actually mean that we are going to meet our goals.

So hear me out on this. Think about what your measurement is that tells you that you are making progress towards your goals, whether it’s a promotion or being a more effective leader, or knowing what you want, creating your five year plan, whatever it is. How do you know if you are making progress? Many people will use external validation. Like my boss tells me I’m doing a great job or my team is doing well and gives me compliments. But what if those things matter as in their data points that are helpful but they aren’t actual indicators of your progress or of what is possible for you? Your boss can tell you that you are amazing all day long. It doesn’t mean that they are going to promote you, right? A lot of people will be very frustrated because they’ll say, oh, I have my performance reviews, I have my one on one. My boss tells me that I’m doing a great job. I don’t get any critical feedback, but they’re not getting promoted. Right? Because that isn’t actually an indicator that you are making progress or that you are getting a promotion. It’s just a piece of data.

But sometimes we use that piece of data, whether we have it or don’t, to mean something about us, good or bad, or that our goals are going to happen or not. But if instead, if you believed you deserved the promotion, you would take the action to get it. If you look to external data to tell you if you’re getting it and then you get let down, you’re going to change your behavior. Same with your team. If you wait to hear the validation that they think that you’re great, you may be more stressed and look for that feedback. And if you don’t get it, feel resentful. So let me give you an example of how this applies to me in my business. So with me, for example, I use social media to share resources to share my thoughts that are helpful to others. There is a variety. I do articles, I talk about my podcast on social media. I do a lot of different social media outreach, primarily on LinkedIn, and then also a little bit on Instagram. Instagram is kind of like my more informal social media. I do a lot of fun memes and things like that about work on there, as well as the helpful insights and tools.

If you’re not following me there, go ahead and head over. If you want to kind of see a different perspective of me, that is definitely the place to go. But anyway, I share a lot of helpful resources and tips on social media. And if I used social media engagement to indicate if my content was working, if it was resonating, if it was helpful, I would think it’s not working. I would throw in the towel and say, social media is not an effective marketing tool for me. But guess what? It’s just not true. If you look at my social media posts, you might see sometimes no likes or comments. Sometimes there will be five or ten or 20, right? But often it’s very low engagement. But here’s the thing. I have a very full practice. I have a group coaching program. I have a one on one coaching program, and I pretty consistently have a full roster of clients. And the people that come to me will often tell me, I’ve been listening to your podcast for a year. I’ve been watching your post on LinkedIn. I’ve been watching you on social media. I attended something that you spoke at, and I loved what you had to say.

Or I attended your free training, or I’m on your email list, right? There are people that are watching that just aren’t ready. And at some point something resonates with them enough that they’re thinking, I really want Melissa to help me and I’m going to reach out. Right? But I don’t know that. So it’s always just a delightful surprise. It’s icing on the cake when I find that there are those people out there. And that is 90% of where my clients come from. 90% never like or comment on any of my content. They seem to come out of thin air and tell me that they’ve been watching me or listening to the podcast. And I had no idea. And I live in possibility, too, that I help people that people are watching and using my tips and advice. And they are. And I get that validation through the results that I have in my business. But it’s me staying in possibility even when I’m not getting that external validation that keeps me achieving the incredible results that I have in my business and in my life. And what I’m inviting you to do is to apply this to your life, too, and your career goals.

To think that just because you’re not getting that external validation doesn’t mean it’s not working, doesn’t mean your goals aren’t going to happen, doesn’t mean that there isn’t something greater for you that maybe you can’t see right now. I want you to think about how you can believe that your goals are happening and everything is working. And there is more possible for you, even if you can’t see it right now, even if no one is telling you that it is going to happen. If you can make yourself feel great and keep making progress without that validation, then when it comes that validation and it will be sprinkled in, it will be icing on the cake. You won’t need it. But you’ll get it. And of course it feels amazing when you get it, but it’s not the end all be all of you believing in what’s possible for you or what goals you achieve. It’s just extra. And what is great about this is you aren’t using external circumstances, things you can’t see or other people to define what is possible for you. You aren’t deciding ahead of time that if you don’t get what you want that it means something about you or what you want isn’t possible or if you want something more, you don’t know what it is.

You’re not using that as a reason not to figure it out. It just means you need a new approach, a new perspective. And you can get that by living in the possibility, by dreaming and believing that what you want is possible, that what you’re doing is working, that you are amazing no matter what people say or don’t say. So give this a try this week and notice what changes for you. Notice if your mood is later, if your problem solving better, if you feel better while you’re at work or at home. All right, that is all for this week’s episode. I will be back with another brand new topic next week.

I get asked all of the time how do I know if I’m in the right career now you can find out I created a free quiz using my criteria for what makes a great job fit. You can take the quiz at my website www.melissamlawrence.com and in less than 3 minutes you’ll know the answer so you can stop stop guessing and take some action. And as a bonus, if your job isn’t a great fit, you’ll get some resources to help you decide what to do about it. Head there now.

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No longer settles for “good enough”

Hi, I’m Melissa.

Career & Leadership Coach for Women in Pharma/Biotech

I'm a former Talent & Development leader in Pharma/Biotech turned CEO and Certified Professional Career & Life Coach. I also host the podcast, Your Worthy Career.

I've been where you are, and I help you create the career you want without working more hours or settling for good enough.

I'm leading a movement of women in the industry who are figuring out exactly what they want and shattering the glass ceiling. The very real ceiling in the industry, but also the one that we impose on ourselves. 

So long, imposter syndrome and overthinking. It's time to step into the impact and life you're worthy of having.

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